i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
