She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
areolas are like halos for boobs.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
