everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
