brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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