When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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