i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
