some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
