Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
