someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
My vagina is officially offended.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
