She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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