Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize