He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
