i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
