Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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