Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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