Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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