If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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