why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
