Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
