I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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