I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
