My first STD was from a foam party
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
