dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
