Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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