he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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