Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
