me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
