Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
