I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
