hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You were trust falling into bushes
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize