well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
