Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just high enough for therapy.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
