that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
