Christians are straight up FREAKS
Please, let me fuck your mom
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
