we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
There's always time for handjobs
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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