Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
