Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
