i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
