Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
there's paper in my vomit.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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