in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
