i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
