you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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