Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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