Me too!
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
