I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We talked him into tasing himself.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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