everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
