kristin has been a bad kristin
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
