I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
