Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
