I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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