If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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