we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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