I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
