there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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