garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
