So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
