hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
