so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
