i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Randomize
