What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
